Snakes on a Plane

I'm not even sure how to start this review. So, I'll start by saying this: Once upon a time, there was a man named Samuel L. Jackson, and he grew up to be a badass.

And that's what this film is: a following of one of the most well known attitudes in Hollywood. Snakes on a Plane is about an assassination attempt at 30,000 feet. To touch a little on the story: a young man witnesses a brutal murder by a L.A. mafia boss, and is needed to testify. He witnesses this murder in Hawaii, and is needed in court in LA. This means, of course, that he has to be flown. This mafia boss, however, takes action against him, and loads the planes cargo bay with a huge box of snakes. By adding a pheromone to flowers onboard, he is able to make the snake hyper-aggressive. And what do we have here: Snakes on a Plane.

But it's not the story that carries this film as far is it has reached so far. It's not the marketing, or the absurdity that has promoted it beyond most films this summer. It is the sole fact that Samuel L. Jackson signed on, and made such a horrible film out of humor and hilarity.

One thing that made this experience so enjoyable for me--and that's what it truly was, an experience--was the audience. Our theater was packed with people who had waited to see this film, and were dedicated enough to see it on its sneak peak run, Thursday night at 10PM, the night before opening day. It was a constant cluster of shouting, laughing, and cheering. When Samuel L. Jackson appeared for the first time on screen, the crowd went nuts, and when he said his already famous line--which I'm sure will live on forever--popcorn flew into the air as the audience clapped, cheered and laughed.

Let me be honest and critical for a moment. As a horror film, this was pretty weak. The CG was par, if that. Even Anaconda had better computer graphics to animate the movement of snakes. The characters were shallow, and cardboard, and their lines were just flat out terrible. Strangely enough, there was some creativity that came from the camera, and its movement. Outside of that, though, this film would never stand alone just as so many failed horror films have. Its sometime ridiculous gore drew laughs, and really, a guy getting bit in the nuts while going to the bathroom: who wouldn't just bust a gut?

It’s meant to be this bad, and strangely, it'll make things that much better!

But as I said, it's not the cult following that this film will generate, it's not the bad lines, and the campy graphics, it's not when the little dog is fed to the python, and it's not when the lovers in the bathroom are bitten on almost every form of genitals possible, that make this film such a fun watch.

For me, this is what I felt it was: Hollywood has produced some crap over the years, both in terms of writing, and in acting. When this script was picked up by Samuel Jackson, we all knew that this was something more than just another bad movie. For me, it's somewhat of a statement: there are bad movies out there, and there are actors and actresses willing to admit that they exist. Jackson actually hasn't even seen the entire film all the way through! And the producers actually made a phone service where you can have Jackson call you, stating that you MUST see this film, as "it just might be the best motion picture of this year!"

Without the crowd, and the attitude going into this film, there are going to be viewing problems. But who knows, you might enjoy it just as much as I did, even without the crowd. There's nothing better than going into a film you know is bad, and be able to shout things at the screen collectively with 500 other people. We all walked out of that film feeling somewhat closer to all the strangers, as if we'd all experienced a train wreck together, and we had bonded over the past 90 minutes.

Im going to give this film a 4 of 10 on the basis of the film itself. But if you include the audience, and the attitude going in, I can honestly say that I had a better time there than I have at any other movie over the past 5 years.

It's a terrible, great, crappy, wonderful, campy, hilarious, action-packed summer flick that'll gross more money than serious films such as Lady in the Water! Go see this on opening night if you can! Otherwise, be ready to drink before hand, get a ride there, and enjoy what you can!

And if you're still drunk, get a ride home as well!

We don't want an epitaph that reads "His/Her last action on earth was watching Snakes on a Mutha-Fuckin Plane!"